Satan is on Mount Niphates and experiences a ‘mental breakdown’ of sorts. He reflects on how he came to be in such a miserable state.

19. …Horror and doubt distract
His troubled thoughts, and from the bottom stir
The hell within him. For within him hell
He brings, and round about him, nor from hell
One step, no more than from himself, can fly
By change of place. …

50. …Lifted up so high,
I [disdained] subjection, and thought one step higher
Would set me highest….

He then contemplates what it would be like to submit to God again and resume his place in Heaven, but again his pride gets in the way. He cannot abase himself before God now, especially since earlier in Hell he had so passionately declared to his followers absolute opposition to God.

70. Be then His love accursed, since love or hate
To me alike, it deals eternal woe.

76. Which way I fly is hell, myself am hell.

109. ‘So farewell hope. And with hope farewell fear.
Farewell remorse. All good to me is lost.

Line 76 is interesting, because it implies that not only is hell a place, but a state of being. It reminds me of something C.S Lewis said…

“Remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare…. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal… All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations…immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”

So maybe hell isn’t exactly (or only) some hot, fiery place that “hapless” sinners get thrown into. Perhaps it is (also) a state of being they themselves choose through their own faulty reason and pride…Like Satan in Paradise Lost. Hmm.

Moving on, Uriel (the angel Satan tricked into directing him towards Eden by making himself still look like a heavenly being), looks down upon Mt. Niphates and sees Satan’s countenance.

129. …disfigured, more then could befall
Spirit of a happy sort. …

Satan, with his new resolve and assumption that he is unobserved, sets out towards Eden.

539. Through wood, through waste, o’er hill, o’er dale his roam.

And Uriel warns Gabriel (who is guarding the gate of Eden) that he saw one of the fallen enter the garden. Gabriel and two other angels promise to find him before morning.

Satan, now in Eden, observes the beauty of the plants and animals, and finally, Man. He overhears a conversation between Adam and Eve describing how they met.

Eve awakened to her existence on a bed of flowers.

Can words explain how much I love Dave Barry? This book was written in 1996, thus bringing a wave of nostalgia. Windows 95? Chatrooms? Webdings?? Remember when they were all a big deal? I do.

Seriously though, do “chatrooms” exist anymore? What gong shows they were.

Here’s a taste of Dave’s brilliance:

“Q. Wow! How can I get on the web?
A. It’s easy! Suppose you’re interested in buying a boat from an Australian company that has a web page featuring pictures and specifications of its various models. All you have to do is fire up your World Wide Web software and type in the company’s web page address, which will probably be an intuitive, easy-to-remember string of characters like this:

http//:www.fweemer-twirple~.com/heppledork/sockitomesockitome@fee.fie/fo/fum

Q. What is I type one single character wrong?
A. You will launch U.S nuclear missiles against Norway.

Q. Ah.
A. But assuming you type in the correct address, you merely press Enter, and there you are!

Q. Where?

Soo…I’m loving this. The world needs more stoic philosophy and less…non-stoic philosophy. Right. Anyways, a few of these quotes put into words exactly the way I feel about some things, like this:

“Do not act as if thou wert going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over thee. While thou livest, while it is in thy power, be good.”

…and this:

“As a horse when he has run, a dog when he has tracked the game, a bee when it has made the honey, so a man when he has done a good act, does not call out for others to come and see, but he goes on to another act, as a vine goes on to produce again the grapes in season.”

Also, I’ve come to realize all my blog posts are pretty much excerpts and quotes. Umm…you know, that’s okay though…I talk far too much in real life so it’s nice to let other people say things for once =P

Oh, and these are not just quotes…they’re POWER QUOTES. RAAAARRR!!!

“…the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil.”

“…For we are made for cooperation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another is then contrary to nature.”

“Thou must now at last perceive of what universe thou art part, and of what administrator of the universe thy existence is efflux, and that a limit of time is fixed for thee, which if thou dost not use for clearing away the clouds from thy mind, it will go and thou wilt go, and it will never return.”

Me!

I will never buy another full-priced book again. Unless it’s a gift. Or unless half the proceeds go towards Mark Steyn’s legal fund.

Anyways, Value Village is a second-hand store we have up here in Canada – mostly clothes, but they have a small book section. Right now they have this “Buy 4 Get the 5th Free” deal, so I’ve been taking advantage of that. My goal pretty much is to have my own personal library and then buy some library card things so people can borrow them etc. Anyways, here’s what I’ve got recently:

America Alone by Mark Steyn – I always wanted to read this and I got the perfect excuse when Instapundit informed me about a month ago that if I bought the book online before midnight that day, half the proceeds would go towards Mark Steyn’s legal fund (he’s being sued by people who hate free speech). It just came in the mail (signed too! yay!). I’m quite excited to read it; I don’t usually get around to reading political books etc, mostly because I never see them in second-hand bookstores or Value Village.

Anthology of Beowulf Criticism (shown) – A collection of essays by various people (including J.R.R Tolkien) discussing virtually every aspect of Beowulf. I was incredibly stoked to find this, because I love Beowulf so much!

Note: Is it just me, or was the best live action adaptation of this story found on Wishbone? I’d have to say so.

Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl – I actually bought this at Chapters last week for ten dollars, but then returned it because it was part of a bunch of books I really couldn’t afford right then. Conveniently, on Monday, I found it at Value Village in pretty good shape for 99 cents. And that’s when I decided I would never buy a book full price again…

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius – I bought this at Chapters, but it was on sale. I’m actually reading through it right now and it’s pretty kick ass. Yay for stoic philosophy…

Rainbow Six by Tom Clancy – It was a book first, video game geeks! It features John Clark from Without Remorse, which makes me pretty excited.

Patriot Games by Tom Clancy – I own the movie and it’s pretty cool, so I assume the book will be even better.

Debt of Honor by Tom Clancy – I can’t read Executive Orders, which I already own, until I read this, so I was glad to pick it up…even if it is a monstrous hardcover.

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy – I’ve read them all, but never owned them. They’re pretty much a must for any library…

Dave Barry in Cyberspace – Dave Barry’s Guide to Guys was sidesplitting, so I had to check this one out. I’ve already finished it actually, it’s quite short, and of course, hilarious- even more so since it was written like, over ten years ago when Windows 95 was the newest thing. Man, good times.

Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell – I love the movie and have always wanted to read the book, so how convenient for me to find it at Value Village for $3.99!

Aaaaand….I’m done! That’s all for now.

Update: Thanks for the link, Mark Steyn! Welcome SteynOnline readers! =)

Milton again begins with a prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to help him tell the story of things invisible to man. He then tells about God watching Satan heading towards Earth.

95. …Whose fault?
Whose but his own? Ingrate, he had of me
All he could have. I made him just and right,
Sufficient to have stood, though free to fall.

I love how God called Satan an ingrate, btw. That’s intense.

God foresees Man’s fall, but decides to be merciful, because

103. God created men and angels free.
Angels fell of their own suggestion,
Men were lured and tempted.

Jesus then says that justice must still be served, but volunteers to satisfy God’s justice on behalf of men through his own sacrifice.

252. Death his death’s wound shall then receive, and stoop
Inglorious, of his mortal sting disarmed.

The angels then sing praises:

397. Thee only extolled, Son of thy Father’s might
To execute fierce vengeance on his foes,
Not so on Man. Him through their malice fallen,
Father of mercy and grace, thou didst not doom
So strictly, but much more to pity incline.

We return to Satan, who is trying to find his way to Earth. He encounters the “Paradise of Fools.” I thought this was a pretty good picture of what it’s like trying to get to heaven through good works: As soon as you almost reach the gates of heaven, a gust of wind comes and blows you away – all was in vain.

489. … Then might ye see
Cowls, hoods and habits with their wearers, tossed
And fluttered into rags; their relics, beads,
Indulgences, dispenses, pardons, bulls,
The sport of winds…

Satan has a brief stint on the sun, soon leaves and sees the archangel Uriel. He transforms himself to look like a different angel, approaches Uriel and asks where Man dwells on Earth so he might see God’s creation and glorify Him more. Uriel, free of suspicion, gladly tells him because

688. …goodness thinks no ill
Where no ill seems…

Satan thanks Uriel, heads towards Earth and alights on Mount Niphates.

He was happy – there was no doubt about that. What was there not to be happy about? He never thought twice about it until he noticed she was listening. He was caught off-guard in mid-sentence – why did he hesitate? He was conscious of his breathing – he was conscious of everything now. All she was doing was standing there, waiting for him to finish his sentence like the rest of the people he was telling his story to. He re-worded what he was about to say and continued. To him Epicureanism had only one fault - conviction in the presence of anyone resembling a Stoic. Thankfully, Stoics didn’t frequent parties.

Spoiler alert, if you care.

There’s good, and then there’s the bad. Here’s the good:

Repicheep. YES, they did him perfectly! It brought me joy.

Caspian’s hair. It was gorgeous…I could not stop looking at it. Wow.

The sea-god at the end. Very well done and impressive.

And the costumes somehow seemed a bit better this time around…especially Susan’s. They looked more real, whereas in the last movie it just looked like expensive dress-up.

Unfortunately, that’s really it. I can count the amount of things I liked about this movie on one hand. In my previous post I quoted eight parts from the book that I hope they kept in the movie. Well, I only saw three. Weak, very weak.

First off…lack of Aslan. He’s like, in two scenes! And that’s it! I can understand cutting out Bacchus and Silenus…but why couldn’t the frolicking scene go on without them?

Also, PETER. Peter’s character in the movie is the exact opposite of Peter in the book. This quote sums it up:

“”I haven’t come to take your place, you know [Caspian], but to put you into it.”

In the movie Peter has this complex where he has to do things his way and always be in charge, and he and Caspian butt heads over this. Whereas in the book, everyone gets along quite amiably right off the bat. Also, in the book, Peter, along with Susan, doesn’t believe at first that Lucy saw Aslan , but soon he’s right back to his kingly self when he says: “We don’t know when [Aslan] will act. In his time, no doubt, not ours.”

That’s one thing I noticed, actually…modern movies like to introduce these complexes into characters to make them more “real.” Is it too far fetched for someone to actually have a noble character? Like Beowulf succumbing to lust for treasure and glory, like Superman having a freaking child out of wedlock…like Peter having this major ego and practically despising Caspian.

Also, it was not established just how scared of the forest the Telemarines really were. I mean, the forest freaks them out. That’s how all the tree nymphs and dryads scare the everlivin’s out of them and they run back to the bridge. In the movie they’re just slightly superstitious about the forest, and they don’t seem very phased at all when the trees showed up.

Um…what else. Oh yeah, the whole “let’s summon the White Witch scene” happened closer to the beginning, and Caspian was outraged at the very idea, not cooperative. And they never got around to actually summoning her before Caspian and Trufflehunter killed Nikabrik, the hag and the werewolf.

UM. Man, there are a billion things more. Oh, they never stormed the castle either.

Oh, and was it necessary for Caspian to have that annoying accent? I could hardly understand him sometimes. Blah.

Seriously…I didn’t like the first movie very much, but that might as well have been word-for-word compared to Prince Caspian. I had hope for it…actually. I thought there might be a chance… I give it 1 star out of 5, mainly for Repicheep and Caspian’s hair.

Update: As a commenter pointed out, and I agree: as a movie Prince Caspian isn’t all that terrible. If you haven’t read the book you might actually enjoy it a fair bit. However, as an adaptation of the book it is horrendous – which is mainly all I care about – and that’s why it lost 4 stars. =P

I’m seeing the movie tomorrow, so I figured I would read the book beforehand so I would readily be able to complain.

I’m sorry, it’s how I roll. I really don’t know what to expect…

Anyways, I’ve read the Narnia series twice before, the last time being about three years ago. Prince Caspian never quite made it onto my favorites…and now that I read it again, some things just seem odd. Maybe because I’m older and am reading too much into things I shouldn’t? Most likely.

I would mainly like to know what’s up with everyone gallivanting around with Bacchus and Silenus all the time. Edmund says something like, “That Bacchus seems like a chap who might do anything. I wouldn’t want to run into him and his girls without Aslan around.” Hmm.

Bacchus is the Roman god of wine and Silenus is one of his followers, and one of them is usually riding a donkey, I think (Fantasia, anyone?). And then some “wild girls” are with them, frolicking about.

I don’t quite understand…I think Lewis might saying that if we drink wine while God is far from our hearts or minds, anything could happen. But wine is also a reminder of Jesus’ sacrifice, and a gift for celebration – so if enjoyed within these bounds then it’s all good? Basically what Edmund said: don’t meet Bacchus without Aslan?

It just seems strange to be referenced at all in a children’s book.

Anyways, these are my favorite parts…I doubt half of them will show up on film. I remember the main thing I disliked about The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe movie was all the little lines they changed and left out – the “deep magic” and “emperor’s magic” completely disappeared! And they replaced it with something retarded like “true sacrifice.” Uh huh.

Yeah. Anyways – here’s what I hope doesn’t end up on the cutting room floor:

“And we beasts remember, even if dwarfs forget, that Narnia was never right except when a son of Adam was king.”
-Trufflehunter, the badger

“I don’t like the idea of running away.” said Caspian.
“Hear him! Hear him!” said the Bulgy Bears. “Whatever we do, don’t let’s have any running. Especially not before supper; and not too soon after it either.”

I overspent at Chapters today. I came across some extra money and thought it was a good excuse to be extravagant. Seriously…I could have got all those books at a second hand store for 1/16 the price. Arrgh. I’m gonna take most of them back, but I’m definitely keeping the new copy of The Screwtape Letters because the one I have is so shredded and horrible. I’ll let you know later which ones I retain, but for the meantime I just wanted an excuse to post this picture. =P